Introspection

A young woman takes photos of herself wearing a color coordinated jogging outfit. She presumably posted them on social media, but never does get around to the jogging part. Boy oh boy, does she look stylish.

Self-awareness is an odd thing.

In psychotherapy, self awareness is the major component to achieving personal and emotional growth. In writing and creation, self-awareness blots out the good ideas. In high school, too much self-awareness can make you awkward and unapproachable. In psychiatry, having no self-awareness makes you a depersonalized patient.

We’re constantly looking for reassurance that we’re doing a good job, whether that’s how cleverly we turn a phrase, or sell a car, or discover something in a pea tree dish. As we hurl through space and time on this blue rock, we just want to feel noticed… we believe that may amend all the self scrutiny, the sleeplessness, and the self doubt.

When we are fully noticed by someone remarkable, we cling to them; be it a significant other, friend, pet, or long lost cousin however many times removed. Focusing on their needs outweighs our own and self-awareness loses its power.

Maybe to let go of self-awareness is to surrender to the self and thus finally exist authentically. Being alone for two years, completely content in your own skin, and feeling soothed by your own inner voice is very elegant, but also unrealistic. 

We are all the stylish girl taking selfies on her fake jog. 

We’ve made the mental space to grow, self care, and self love, but we also want the space to share and commune. We all want to hold our friends and family again.